Moviemaker and actor Eli Roth is making light of his near-death experience on holiday in Mexico, insisting deadly sea urchins had every right to sting him after he clambered onto their rock.
The Inglourious Basterds star was left scrambling for life a mile (1.6 kilometres) from shore when a kayaking adventure in Careyes went wrong and he was pulled towards a sink hole.
Roth managed to swim to a rock, only to find it was covered with poisonous urchins. He was stung 200 times.
Speaking out for the first time since his New Year's nightmare, Roth told WENN, "I had no idea sea urchins were such a nefarious villain. I guess there's a reason they call them the Deadly Koosh Ball of the Sea. Or at least that's what I call them."
But he insists he only has himself to blame for the big sting: "To be fair, the sea urchins were just defending themselves. I guess you would too if this giant creature climbed over you to get on top of a rock.
"The crabs were actually quite funny. They really looked shocked when I climbed on their rock, like, 'What the hell is this furry thing doing here?' They started scampering around, clearing a space for me as I screamed for help."
The actor/director admits the pain was never ending because waves kept washing him off the rock and towards the sink hole - prompting him to scramble back, through the killer sea creatures.
He adds, "My feet were so stung up, swollen, and bleeding, that I couldn't stand up. And the rock was a jagged, rough surface, like the moon, with no real place to stand. The fisherman who rescued me couldn't get close enough to the rock where I had climbed up, so I had to crab-walk around the rock, moving about a foot at a time, until I could get around to an open space.
"The crabs looked confused when I first appeared there, but, when I started crab walking, they went nuts. The whole rock was moving. I was so scared they'd attack me and I'd lose my balance and fall and hit my head. Plus now, I was bleeding."
Roth finally made it to shore and was treated by a local doctor, who saved his life.
And the Hostel director admits his sea scare could have been even worse: "Two days later four baby sharks were seen around the rock where I was stranded. And where there are babies..."