Any movie that has a cast like that should give you an immediate clue as to the cinematic quality.
Godzilla's 1998 version, which will forever be remembered as the first Godzilla that does not feature a Japanese extra looking as if he is mouthing sixteen words when all you hear is "Look: Godzilla!", is a film that takes the same spot of notoriety that all of the other films of the Godzilla pantheon do: incredibly dumb, a waste of time as large as the monster portrayed, and inexplicably (yet moderately) enjoyable. In this one, Godzilla stomps New York, and we all love that.
All right, so the lack of obviously dubbed dialogue hurts this film almost as much as the terrible performances by its human cast and the emotional and quasi-romantic subplots, but the film still remains something that has a very limited appeal of enjoyment. Enough that, should you watch this film either late at night or while making out, you'll forgive its shortcomings.
Should you happen to watch this film while completely awake, however, you will be repulsed by it. Fully awake, you'll discover that Godzilla has all the appeal of a root canal. In fact, if you were fully awake during its preview during coming attractions, you would probably be just as repulsed by the absolutely Freudian tagline "Size Does Matter" as by the rest of the movie, and would probably have decided to skip it.
Such is what happens when you try to make a franchise with what has been essentially a cult following and turn it into an incredibly mainstream phenomenon. When we look upon the American Godzilla in cinema history, it represents the ultimate failure of America to steal the East's inherent skill at slop and propensity towards pulp.
Since Godzilla has always had a cult following, and since the cult following has always talked about how Godzilla can be viewed as an allegory of post-World-War-II Japanese history, you can view the American Godzilla in the following frame of mind: Godzilla represents the final step of post-war Japan. In Godzilla, Japan has exported the terrible product that was the byproduct of hackneyed imagination and America's nuclear waste. The Japanese have gotten beyond the point where Godzilla is their protector. They have made Godzilla their Tiger games: A cheap, exportable product that will attempt to turn a profit in the U.S.
In Theaters: Tuesday 13th May 2014
Box Office Worldwide: $379M
Production compaines: TriStar Pictures, Centropolis Film Productions, Fried Films, Independent Pictures (II), Toho Film (Eiga) Co. Ltd.
Contactmusic.com: 2 / 5
Director: Roland Emmerich
Producer: Dean Devlin
Starring: Matthew Broderick as Dr. Niko Tatopoulos, Jean Reno as Philippe Roaché, Maria Pitillo as Audrey Timmonds, Hank Azaria as Victor 'Animal' Palotti, Kevin Dunn as Colonel Hicks, Michael Lerner as Mayor Ebert, Harry Shearer as Charles Caiman, Arabella Field as Lucy Palotti, Vicki Lewis as Dr. Elsie Chapman, Doug Savant as Sergeant O'Neal, Malcolm Danare as Dr. Mendel Craven, Lorry Goldman as Gene, Mayor's Aide, Christian Aubert as Jean-Luc, Philippe Bergeron as Jean-Claude, Frank Bruynbroek as Jean-Pierre, Francois Giroday as as Jean-Philippe, Nicholas J. Giangiulio as Ed, Robert Lesser as Murray, Ralph Manza as Old Fisherman, Greg Callahan as the Governor, Chris Ellis as General Anderson, Nancy Cartwright as Caiman's Secretary, Richard Gant as Admiral Phelps, Jack Moore as Leonard, Steve Giannelli as Jules, Brian Farabaugh as Arthur, Stephen Xavier Lee as Lt. Anderson, Bodhi Elfman as Freddie, Rich Battista as Jimmy, Lloyd Kino as Japanese Tanker Cook, Toshi Toda as Japanese Tanker Captain, Clyde Kusatsu as Japanese Tanker Skipper, Masaya Kato as Japanese Tanker Crew Member, Lola Pashalinski as Pharmacist, Rob Fukuzaki as WIDF Co-Anchor, Dale Harimoto as WKXI Anchor, Glenn Morshower as Kyle Terrington, Gary W. Cruz as WFKK Anchor, Derek Webster as Utah Captain, Stuart Fratkin as Utah Ensign, Frank Cilberg as Utah Sailor, Jason Edward Jones as Utah Sailor, Roger McIntyre as Utah Sailor, David Pressman as Anchorage Captain, Robert Faltisco as Anchorage Ensign, Christopher Darius Maleki as Anchorage Ensign, Scott Lusby as Anchorage Ensign, Ali Afshar as Anchorage Sailor, Terence Paul Winter as Apache Pilot, Kirk Geiger as Apache Pilot, Pat Mastroianni as Apache Pilot, Eric Saiet as Apache Pilot, Burt Bulos as Apache Pilot, Robert Floyd as Apache Pilot, Seth Peterson as Apache Pilot, Jamison Yang as F-18 Pilot, Nathan Anderson as F-18 Pilot, Mark Munafo as F-18 Pilot, Dwight Schmidt as F-18 Pilot, Dwayne Swingler as Raven Pilot #2, Lawton Paseka as Officier, Greg Collins as Soldier on the Bridge, James Black as Soldier, Thomas Giuseppe Giantonelli as Soldier, Paul Ware as Soldier, Montae Russell as Soldier on Plane, Christopher Carruthers as Radio Technician, Daniel Pearce as Radio Technician, Mark Fite as Radio Operator, Craig Castaldo as Radio Man