Comedienne Joan Rivers was overjoyed when she met a man on an airplane willing to take her out on a date - until she realised he was senile.

The 70-year-old New York native met what she thought was a potential suitor on one of her many trips between America and London, and she's none too thrilled with the experience.

She says, "I fly back and forth and I always pull myself together because I'm always hoping I'll meet somebody.

"I'm on the plane and a guy right behind me - very nice gentleman - says, 'I met you at a dinner party. What are you doing Wednesday? I said, 'I think I'm working.' He said, 'Would you like to go to the opera?' I said, 'Let me check. I can't.' He said, 'I'll call you.'

"I was thinking, 'Ha ha,' because I'm at the age where your gynaecologist examines you by telephone. I walk past construction sites and they boo, so I'm feeling really good.'

"He taps me again, and says, 'What are you doing Wednesday? Would you like to go to the opera?' He was senile! Four times he asked me. So finally the guy on the other side said, 'She's busy! Change your diaper and leave us alone!'"

11/11/2003 17:13