"I experienced a lot of loss after his death. I lost my city because of all the paparazzi descending upon us. I actually lost my journal during that time, oddly enough. I literally couldn't hold on to anything. It felt as if things were literally slipping through my fingers. Things were just streaming away from me. I lost my sense of humour. I'm still sort of looking for that." Michelle Williams felt the loss of her ex-fiance Heath Ledger in numerous ways after his 2008 death.