Country star Mindy McCready wants her estranged boyfriend Billy Mcknight to apologise for violently beating her - because she's convinced this is the only way he'll face his drug and alcohol demons.

McKnight is facing charges of attempted murder following his alleged drug-fuelled attack on the singer in May (05), and, appearing on OPRAH in America yesterday (03NOV05), McCready revealed her ex had put her in hospital twice before.

But she refuses to give up on the father of her unborn baby, and admitted on TV she almost didn't call for an ambulance after his last attack on her - because she was ashamed of herself.

She said, "I had to be talked into going because I was so embarrassed. I didn't want to go. I didn't want anybody to know."

McCready admitted she's in denial and still meets up with her alleged attacker - even though McKnight has a restraining order against him, stipulating he must stay away from his ex.

She added, "I've seen him several times since the beating, which you're really not supposed to... (but) I didn't believe he was really trying to kill me.

"I was with him for a year and a couple months before this all happened and it was the most tumultuous relationship of my entire life, but I really truly loved him.

"Each time that he would do something horrible to me, I would go to save him after the incident."

The singer admitted her ex has a hard time accepting he almost killed her back in May, and refused to join her on the TV show unless she promised to "dampen" her story about the attack.

She explained, "We haven't been able to talk about this situation and get along through it because he doesn't think that he did very much wrong, and I want him to be truly sorry for it. I want him to realise how extremely scared I was and how this is going to effect me for the rest of my life."