Colombiana Movie Review

0
0
Subscribe Zoe Saldana
This preposterously overwrought revenge thriller is entertaining simply because it so rarely pauses for breath. It makes virtually no sense if you think about it, and the writing and direction are mostly incoherent. But it's also guilty good fun.

In Colombia, feisty 9-year-old Cataleya (Stenberg) witnesses her parents' massacre of by Marco (Molla), henchman the drug kingpin Luis (Benites). Years layer (now Saldana) she's in Chicago, where she's been raised by her uncle (Curtis) to be a stealthy assassin. Now she's trying to draw Marco and Luis out of protective CIA custody by leaving clues at each murder scene. And it seems to be working. With an FBI agent (James) on her trail and a boyfriend (Vartan) who knows nothing, she's playing a dangerous game.

With references to Xena and Scarface, director Megaton uses deliriously bombastic camerawork, editing and sound, hyping up each situation into an orgy of explosive carnage. He can't seem to decide if Cataleya is Catwoman or part of the Impossible Mission Force, with her outrageous ability to quietly unleash mass destruction while slithering through air ducts and clinging to tiny ledges on the sides of buildings. Not to mention her amazing MacGuyver ingenuity with a cup of water and a teaspoon.

After the hammy prologue, the cast members play this dead straight, and Saldana even tries to find some emotional resonance in Cataleya's various relationships and the supposed catharsis of deadly vengeance. On the other hand, Megaton seems only interested in getting her into another gratuitously skimpy outfit.

For a change, it's the gifted male cast members whose characters are mere sketches; most are tenacious but utterly unable to either challenge or protect Cataleya.

As the story progresses, each set piece hinges on a highly unlikely coincidence, but they're all hilariously entertaining as Cataleya finds her most trusted allies in man-eating dogs and sharks. The slinky prison break-in is terrific, but that's nothing compared to her big-guns assault on a New Orleans mansion. Meanwhile, Cataleya's endless physical, technical as financial abilities niggle at the film's believability until the whole thing becomes yet another Besson-Kamen revenge fantasy. But it so shamelessly ridiculous that you can't help but enjoy the ride.

Cast & Crew

Director : Olivier Megaton

Producer : , Pierre-Ange Le Pogam

0
0
Subscribe Zoe Saldana

Comments

Colombiana Rating

" Weak "

Rating: 15, 2011

Advertisement

More Zoe Saldana

'The Book of Life' is Beautiful, But It's No Masterpiece

When the first trailer hit for The Book of Life, we got very, very excited. The project had originally been optioned by DreamWorks animation in...

Watch Zoe Saldana Attempt To Pole Dance Pregnant In Funny Video

Zoe Saldana evidently finds spending time at airports as boring as the rest of us, but the Star Trek actress still manages to have fun!...

As One Marvel Flick Falls, Another Must Rise - 'Guardians' Topples 'Winter Soldier' For 2014 Box Office Crown

After much love from critics and fans alike, Guardians of the Galaxy has reached a new box office milestone. Marvel's space opera is now the...

Uneventful Box Office Maintains Summer Momentum

Not much to report from the box office after this week – despite all its manpower, Expendables 3 just couldn’t outgun previous chart toppers Teenage...

Advertisement

Blood Ties Movie Review

While the story centres on twisted moral dilemmas, this 1970s-set thriller takes such a hesitant, internalised approach that if never lets viewers under the characters'...

The Book Of Life Trailer

Manolo has a lot of pressure forced upon him from his family regarding his future, but all he wants to do is marry the woman...

"Guardians" May Have Saved The Galaxy, But They Can't Hold On To The Box Office

So here’s some news: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just breezed past Guardians of the Galaxy to the top of the box office. Yes, you can...

Just Where Has Chris Pratt Come From?

Who is Chris Pratt? Now, he’s the main star in one of the most talked about films in the Marvel Studios’ collection. He’s slim, he’s...

Advertisement