Joe Somebody

Subscribe to Tim Allen alerts

Facts and Figures

Run time: 98 mins

In Theaters: Friday 21st December 2001

Budget: $38M

Distributed by: Lot 47 Films

Reviews 0.5 / 5

Rotten Tomatoes: 40%
Fresh: 12 Rotten: 18

IMDB: 5.4 / 10

Cast & Crew


Starring: Tim Allen as Joe Scheffer, Julie Bowen as Meg Harper, Kelly Lynch as Callie Scheffer, Greg Germann as Jeremy, James Belushi as Chuck Scarett, Hayden Panettiere as Natalie Scheffer, Patrick Warburton as Mark McKinney

Joe Somebody Movie Review

"Joe Somebody" is a movie about an anonymous cubicle drone (Tim Allen) at a pharmaceutical company who beefs up over a period of weeks after a schoolyard scuffle with a bullying co-worker. The guy socked Joe in the nose in front of his 12-year-old daughter over a parking place in front of the office, so now he's ashamed to look at himself in the mirror.

But throughout the picture, all I could think was, how can screenwriter John Scott Shepherd look at himself in the mirror after turning out such uninspired, immature, mechanical, hole-riddled, cliché-driven, insultingly predictable drivel devoid of a single moment that isn't as stale as year-old bread?

A fight over a parking spot is an insipid gimmick on which to hang a movie, but "Joe Somebody" is only getting warmed up. Once word gets around the office that Joe wants a rematch when cocky Mark McKinney (Patrick Warburton) gets back from a disciplinary suspension (is this a corporation or a junior high school?), he instantaneously becomes Big Man On Campus (or office park as the case may be). Executives ask him to play squash in the company's private gym, people high-five him in hallways, the office slut throws herself at him, and his artsy-fartsy ex-wife (Kelly Lynch) starts to wonder what she's missing.

As Joe starts to enjoy being popular, he loses sight of the Important Things In Life, alienating both the office cutie (Julie Bowen from TV's "Ed"), who was on his side to begin with, and his wise-beyond-her-years kid (Hayden Panettiere, "Remember the Titans"), who loves him just the way he was. This little girl has to act as the adult to both her insecure father and her flighty mother -- which is always a sure sign of a stupid movie. It means the adult characters are worthlessly childish and makes you feel sorry for the kid who doesn't get to be a kid.

Director Joe Pasquin, who helmed Tim Allen's smash "The Santa Clause" and his trash "Jungle2Jungle," then sleepwalks the story through elementary training montages (featuring a perfectly cast Jim Belushi as a washed-up Steven Seagal type running a martial arts studio). He listlessly slogs through a parallel budding romance between Allen and Bowen (who volunteers in a ghetto Big Sisters program -- isn't she wonderful?). Then for an encore he beats to death the moral of the story ("A parking space isn't worth fighting for. You're worth fighting for!").

As if the plot itself isn't bad enough, Pasquin's filmmaking is nothing short of inept. In the first three minutes there's a glaring continuity error, and the finale wraps up leaving a fat chunk of the story unresolved. The director can't even close the loop on its own clichés. In an early scene, Joe's daughter says, "Dad, I've read your play. It was amazing. How come you wrote only one?" It's painfully obvious this is meant to set up a triumphant ending in which Joe walks off the job to pursue his dream -- but it's never mentioned again, and neither is what happens to Joe at work after the big showdown.

One of the worst movies of the year, "Joe Somebody" has exactly two things going for it: 1) The conscientiously adequate performances of Jim Belushi, Julie Bowen, Hayden Panettiere and Patrick Warburton ("The Tick," "Seinfeld"), who all manage to wade through this waist-deep rubbish without getting any on them. 2) A running gag involving the pharmaceutical company's TV commercials, which all end with "Possible side effects may include..." followed by a run-on sentence of every ailment known to man including "in some rare cases, death."

I haven't walked out on a movie in a long time, but when this stinker ended, I wished I hadn't talked myself out of it this time.


Subscribe to Tim Allen alerts


Joe Somebody Rating

" Hmmm "


More Tim Allen

Entourage Trailer

After making a name for themselves in Hollywood, Vincent Chase and his entourage of friends from Queens have finally made a movie. The only problem...

Bastille - Things We Lost In The Fire [Live] Video

Live on the Honda Stage at Music Midtown in Atlanta, Bastille perform 'Things We Lost In The Fire', the final single from their debut album...

Bastille - Oblivion [Live] Video

Bastille perform their single 'Oblivion' live on the Honda Stage at Music Midtown in Atlanta. The track followed Platinum hit 'Of The Night' and featured...

HAERTS - Interview Video

Brooklyn band Haerts released their self-titled debut album this year, and here they talk about how they first got into music, their lifelong friendship and...


Mark Ronson - Daffodils ft. Kevin Parker [Audio] Video

Mark Ronson will finally unveil his fourth album 'Uptown Special' on January 26th 2015 through his new label deal with Sony Music. He has teamed...

Meghan Trainor - Lips Are Movin [Live] Video

Meghan Trainor performs her latest single 'Lips Are Movin' at one of her favourite places in the world: an aquarium. The song features, alongside smash...

HAERTS - Be The One [Live] Video

Haerts perform an intimate live rendition of their song 'Be The One', taken from their self-titled debut album released in October 2014 through Columbia Records....

ScHoolboy Q - Hell Of A Night Video

ScHoolboy Q released his first number one with third album 'Oxymoron', and he now unveils the video to its latest single 'Hell Of A Night'...