Eminem was left so distraught following the 2006 murder of his best friend PROOF, he slipped into a downward spiral of drug-induced depression and self-loathing.
Rapper/producer Proof, real name DeShaun Holton, was shot dead in his native Detroit, Michigan after a heated argument over a game of pool. He was 32.
The Without Me hitmaker, real name Marshall Mathers III, has been struggling to deal with the sudden loss of his pal and D12 bandmate for the past three years - and he has only recently come to terms with the tragedy enough to open up about it.
Eminem tells XXL magazine, "Everyone felt his loss, from his kids, to his wife, to everyone. But, for some reason, in hindsight, the way I felt was almost like it happened to just me.
"Maybe at the time I was a little bit selfish with it. I think it kind of hit me so hard. It just blindsided me. I just went into such a dark place that, with everything, the drugs, my thoughts, everything.
"The more drugs I consumed, and it was all depressants I was taking, the more depressed I became, the more self-loathing I became.
"By the way, I'm just now at the point where I'm better talking about it. It took me so long to get out of that place where I couldn't even speak about it without crying or wanting to cry. Proof was the anchor. He was everything to D12. And not just the group - for me, personally, he was everything."