Nicole Kidman has poured out her heart about her feelings for ex-husband Tom Cruise, admitting she still loves the movie superstar. The couple split in 2000 and Cruise is now engaged to marry Katie Holmes, the mother of his new baby daughter SURI. However, Kidman tells magazine Ladies Home Journal she's still very fond of the TOP GUN star. The actress says, "He was huge; still is. To me, he was just Tom, this lovely man, but to everybody else, he is huge. But he was lovely to me. And I loved him. I still love him." Private Kidman has always refused to discuss the heartbreaking split, but opened up to the publication, even admitting she knew the marriage was in trouble before Cruise stunned Hollywood and filed for divorce - but it still came as a huge shock.. She confesses, "I knew I was going to get hit by something, but I think a divorce, and the demise of what your family is, is a little like a death in itself."