Robbie Williams - Robbie Williams didn't care about living
Robbie Williams let his drug habit escalate because he didn't ''care'' if he lived or died.
Robbie Williams didn't ''care'' if he died at the height of his drug addiction.
The 39-year-old star - who has 14-month-old daughter Teddy with wife Ayda Field - had ''given up'' on life so didn't worry about what he was putting into his body, but says his outlook is now much more positive.
He said: ''I'd given up, which is the scariest thing. I just didn't care.
''I don't think you are mentally sound when you are in the deepest depths of compulsion and addiction. You're not thinking with a sound head.
''But I just got into a place where I was like, 'It might be tonight and I don't care'. I care now. A lot.''
Though he experimented a lot with drugs, the 'Feel' hitmaker is relieved he never enjoyed heroin as it could have made his problems much worse.
He told Q magazine: ''I tried it but only 'cos we ran out of coke. It was like, 'Yeah, alright then, I'll have a go. It was horrible. It just made me throw up. That particular opiate didn't suit me that day. Thank God.''
Robbie favoured cocaine because it made him more sociable as he insists that, despite his extrovert nature, he is uncomfortable in social situations.
He said: ''It did give me a lot of confidence. I haven't got a lot to say in social situations. Sometimes I can be on great form and have lots to say and interact well. But most of the time, even with good friends, I'm like 'Hmmm... don't know what to say now.' Coke used to help fill in those blanks.''
Robbie entered rehab in 2007 for a reported addiction to energy drinks, but he has suggested that was not the reason why he sought help, though claims he can't explain the truth for ''financial reasons''.
He said: ''I can't be honest about that particular time in my life for very financial reasons.
''They said I was addicted to caffeine and Red Bull and stuff. Fair enough. If that's what you want to write, suits me. It's better than what was going on.''