Bette Midler thinks space is the key to a happy marriage.

The 68-year-old star has been married to Martin Von Haselberg for 30 years and has learned to pick her fights wisely.

Asked how she has managed to avoid getting divorced, she told PEOPLE: ''The real secret is giving each other a lot of room and not being in each other's faces all the time. and listening. Listening is very hard. And compromise. Compromise is the hardest of all. But sometimes you have to say, 'It's not worth it. The fight is not worth it. You have your way, and maybe next Thursday I'll have mine.' And you keep supporting each other, and I think that's hard too.

''It's best to pick your fights wisely and just meditate. Stay calm. Don't go from zero to 60 in two seconds. Don't try to make each other wrong all the time. The blaming is the worst part. Honestly, you have to learn not to do that.''

The three-time Emmy winner was horrified when their daughter, Sophie Haselberg, 27, revealed she wanted to follow in her footsteps.

She said: ''We went, 'Whaaaat?' [But] She went back to Yale Drama School and is now a working actor.

''My daughter is my best friend. She thinks I am hysterical. She's my toughest critic, yet she's so kind. Raising my daughter is my greatest accomplishment, but I didn't do it by myself. My husband is probably the greatest father who ever lived. He's fantastic.''