Actress Pamela Anderson kept her sex abuse secret because she believed she was the cause of her alleged molester's sudden death.
The former Baywatch star went public with her story in May (14), telling a crowd of more than 200 during the Cannes Film Festival in France that she had gone through years of sexual abuse as a child.
Anderson alleged that she was molested by a female babysitter for four years between the ages of six and 10, but never told anyone about the abuse, including her parents, who thought the woman was "the greatest babysitter in the world".
In a new documentary on charity website Chideo.com, Anderson recalls the moment that she realised she needed to take action, and says, "I remember the last straw was when she told me there was no Santa Claus. So I ran after her full speed with a candy cane pen and tried to stab her in the heart. And it didn't work.
"So all night long I wished her dead, I wished her dead, I wished her dead - and within 48 hours she died in a car crash. So then I thought I killed her, so I definitely couldn't tell anybody."
The documentary's proceeds go towards The Pamela Anderson Foundation, which will focus on environmentalism and animal rights activism.
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